Seriously, I had to just get out of here for a bit. I was sick of trying so hard to think of something smart and clever, some witty way to say what I was thinking, feeling, or whatnot. I know that at one point I had the though that if I couldn't say something funny no one would come read about me anymore. And this wasn't supposed to be about me getting attention. This was supposed to be a place for me to be myself and get things out of my system when I needed to vent. When did it suddenly become a popularity contest? Why does everything seem to end up as a popularity contest?

I thought that once you were out of high school and college things were supposed to get better, things weren't supposed to still be run by the popular kids.

Now is when things are supposed to be going well. Life is supposed to be on track. I should be moving out on my own, getting my own life. Being happy within myself.

It's not going well. Life isn't on track. I can't move out. I'm not happy within myself.

Today, I took one more step towards being happy. I hope it works as well as I'm planning. I hope that I've made the right choices with some other parts of my life lately. I can only say that I was 98% sure they were right when I made them, and that it's only due to my being lonely that I'm not as sure now.

See, I was seeing this guy, someone I don't think I ever even mentioned here. I'd be seeing him off and on for a long time. Things weren't exactly serious, and they weren't exactly casual either. They just...were.

So anyway, I finally called it all off. We're not getting back together. In any possible sense of the word. At first he was really pissed. The other times it had been him who'd left, and always because something better had come along. When I left, nothing better had come along, I just suddenly realized that I couldn't handle the crap with him anymore. We fought all the time. And it made me feel like crap a lot of the time. But, I wasn't alone then.

So anyway, I'm trying to finally do something right for a change. That's why after 40+ days I'm back, hopefully to stay.

Take care of yourselves.