| I know I should be very very happy today, but nonetheless I'm really not very happy. I'm sitting here, and I can list reasons to be happy...but they just aren't helping. I can write them out and memorize them, but it still makes no difference. I am relieved, not happy. Have you ever noticed that when you're feeling ok and you are just dealing with everything, people think that there's something wrong with you because you're not walking around with some big ear-to-ear grin. Just because I'm not smiling 24-7 doesn't mean I am depressed all the time. The part that really gets to me, is that these people who come over to me and ask if I am ok, are the same ones who don't care about me at all. They just want some new interesting gossip to spread around. You'd think that because I realize this I'd just stay away from those people. But I'm still stupid because I want the attention, even if it's not real attention, and I crave their approval. It's only Wednesday, and this has been one of the longest weeks I can think of. I had a little crisis in school Monday, but thank gosh it's fixed now and I don't have to stress out over that all the time now. This is why I'm enjoying my glorious relief :) I get bored really easily lately. When I get very bored little things will just start pissing me off. I don't know why this happens, but I try to control it. I mean, I don't get violent or anything like that, I just get mad. Mystikal is on now, he sounds mad in this song I think it might just be my imagination though. I remind myself of my dad sometimes, and I don't want to be like him. Maybe I'll explain about him and his ways next time. For now, here's my quote... "Reflections on Ice-Breaking.... Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker." Ogden Nash |
