Other people knew and warned me I wouldn't get the job, but I still thought I might, and now, since they never returned my call, I guess I didn't. I'd like more closure than just not getting a phone call. But I'm sick of being the one calling them.

I've been trying to pull off this false bravado act, pure b.s., and as of last night I stopped. Why the hell should I try to fool anyone? And on top of that, was I really foolish enough to think I could fool myself into believing this wasn't going to shake me up a bit?

I wanted that job, and I STILL think I could have done a good job for their company.

People tell me I should call them just so I have the final answer. Yes or no. Did I get the job or not? I think that the lack of a call kind of says, "You sucked. We didn't hire you."

I think I'm going to try to go back to bed.