Sure I could go on and on about how work was and the stupidity one would witness there. But what good would it do? You're right, it wouldn't do any good at all.

It cracks me up though, my R.L. friends ask me if I'm ok...but then they never listen to my answer. They say they care, they say "how are you?" I open my mouth to reply, and suddenly it doesn't matter what I'm feeling because there is no way it could be worse than how they feel because their day was this way or that way. I'm a pretty good listener. When people need me, I'm there for them, so why am I alone when I need someone?

I had a friend once who only saw glimpses of the 'real' me, but he knew me better than anyone else. He made me the cd I'm playing right now. When he gave it to me, I thought it was incredibly sweet and thoughtful. He explained to me why he picked each song, and why the songs were in the order they were in. It was my Valentine's Day gift from a friend. That was 2 years ago. Now I hear this cd and by the end of the first song, I'm ready to cry. Our friendship went from depending on eachother to nothing. That hurts in such a raw ripped apart kind of way.

I hurt inside in a way I just can't explain.

It's like I'm just utterly alone.

I've been lonely before, I've been alone before, but this is a new kind of alone. An almost empty kind of alone.

I don't know what to do.