So now I'm here trying to type something up that resembles a "normal" entry. Even though I'm kind of to the point that I couldn't tell you what normal is if the dictionary was open in front of me.

I really feel the need to be held right now. That in itself is ok. But I have no one to be held by. That part sucks. I would have worked with a close friend today if I hadn't decided to stay home sick, and she would have hugged me, which is better than nothing when you're suddenly just craving some kind of human contact. I honestly just think I want to feel safe, and that's why I want the whole hug/holding/touch thing. Cause when someone's arms are around you, it just makes you feel a little safer.

But well, the best friend I have that I know would hold me till I felt better has a girlfriend, who has a fit if he touches my arm...so I'm not going to hold my breath for that.

I hate feeling helpless. That's how I have felt since Tuesday morning when I work up and saw what was happening. I live in Pennsylvania. When they said I plane crashed here, I fell to the floor and sobbed. When they said where it crashed I lost it even more. I have friends in school in Pittsburg. Yes, I called them immediately and they were ok.

I only have a couple friends in New York, and they are in upstate New York so they're ok as well.

But how can we just go back to our "normal" lives, when at any given moment we could be at war? How can we pretend this isn't going on? How can we just let these idiotic fools attack innocent people because of their race? Don't they see that they are doing the very same thing that happened to us? How can they be so blind?

:) So much for that "normal" entry huh?

Well I need to go to bed now...you know, the whole sick thing.